Jewish and Jolly??

by Jill Maidhof

‘Tis the season to be jolly!  Oops—that’s not a Jewish tradition. We’re deep thinkers, stiff-necked, and darkly humorous. None of those sound like jolly.

Fortunately, it’s also a time to be grateful, and that we can do.

Fortunately, it’s also a time to be grateful, and that we can do. In fact, a unit of our Mussar/Jewish Ethics curriculum is devoted to hakarat hatov—literallynoticing the good. It’s one of 12 “soul traits” that our small groups explore; a few others include humility, patience, compassion and wisdom.

By “explore” I don’t mean discover if we have the trait or not; each of us have all of them. The question we wrestle with is “what’s the measure of that trait in me?” “Do I only see the good and deny or fail to acknowledge when change is needed? (too much hakarat hatov!) or do I tend to focus on what’s missing, wrong or disappointing? And finally, how can I reach a happy medium?”

The short answer is that Mussar teachings and practices gently and without judgement help us to notice when we need to recalibrate the strength of one or more soul traits. This requires the kind of honest self – reflection that many of us reserve for Yom Kippur. Unlike during the holiday, however, we pay attention to just one aspect of ourselves for a period of time-a week or longer. Our efforts aren’t directed at “correcting” the trait that’s out of balance; that would result in self-recrimination and a lot of useless guilt. Instead we work at activating the trait that will counterbalance our problem trait. Do you tend to be angry? Focus instead on gratitude. Are you a procrastinator? Focus on bringing order to your life, or enthusiasm. Don’t leap. Take baby steps and expect to fall on your tush along the way. And don’t “do” Mussar on your own. Like almost all Jewish practices, the tradition is best followed with the support of fellow searchers. And that, of course, is what Chai Mitzvah is all about!